On my daughter's first day of kindergarten, she said something pretty amazing. She said, "I am the gift of pretty." I was astonished. What a revelation from a five year old. She was not being conceited. She was just stating a core belief. What a way to start life--with an assurance of who you are. We can all learn from her confidence. We are not to be filled with pride, but a good balance of courage and confidence can go a long way.  

A few years ago, my son asked me to purchase some worthless junk in the store. I told him, "I'm not buying that." As I finished my last word, I remembered the cash he received as a gift from his great uncle. Then I said, "you have money, why don't you buy it?" He said, "I'm not wasting my money on that!"

Father’s Day Tribute

Just incase you don’t know. Father’s day is June 15^th (2008), and this is my special father’s day tribute.

Let me start off with my issues with the differences on mother’s day and father’s day.

We’ve all heard the song, “I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY MAMA” by the Intruders from back in 1973. This song has become the national anthem for mothers in every corner of the world. And for the record, I’ll always love my Momma, Ms. Joan Childress—may she rest in peace. And to my wife, I couldn’t have been blessed with a better mother for my children.

Since our mothers have an anthem, wouldn’t it be nice if fathers had an anthem other than “Poppa Was A Rollin’ Stone?” Need I say more?

However, I must be fair to the Luther Vandross song “Dance with my Father.”

As
                  you can see, I got a few issues with the celebrated days that I’m still working on.

Why
                  is it when a young adult is given his or her fifteen minutes of fame, the first thing blurted out of the mouth is, “Hi
                  Mom?” Isn’t “Hi Dad” is just as easy to say?

It’s
                  a well known fact that on Mother’s Day you’ll have to wait for hours to get a seat at the restaurant (even with
                  a reservation). Then, after being directed to your seat, you’ll have to wait even longer to get your food. God forbid
                  the food comes to the table wrong. That will only exacerbate the situation.

On
                  Mother’s Day, every table in the restaurant is filled with parties of four or more. The noise and chatter is at record
                  high levels. And deserving mothers from all walks of life are enjoying the time of well deserved honor.

Father’s day is not like that at all. “Oh no.” First of all, we fathers always
                  share our day with the graduating class of the year. Mom shares her day with no one. Second, upon arrival at the restaurant
                  on Father’s Day, there is no waiting. You can walk right in and be seated. In fact, if you desire to take a nap, just
                  ask the waitress or waiter if you can borrow one of the empty booths. If he or she won’t allow that, just lay down on
                  the floor. Trust me on this one. The odds of you getting trampled are equal to seeing a rhino running down the middle of the
                  highway at top speed. 

  I remember an episode of the Cosby Show where Cliff (the Dad) wore
                  everything that he got in the past for Father’s Day. Among all of the strange trinkets and garments, Cliff had on belts,
                  ties and hats with flashing lights. He proceeded to turn out the lights and let the show begin. What a sight to see. 

…Children…mothers, for the record, Father’s Day is not the perfect time to replenish
                  Dad’s supply of underwear and socks! 

As you can see,
                  I’m still working through my issues.

Since great dads, for all too long, have been getting the short end of the stick with the annual day, I’d like to take this time to honor dads.

I remember when my wife and I were discussing having children, the first thing that popped up inside me was “fear.” “Do you really have what it takes to be a good father?” was the presiding thought. Reluctantly, I agreed to get pregnant. I say reluctantly because I was afraid of being a sorry excuse of a father.

Well after we agreed to get pregnant, we were pregnant in a matter of weeks. The fear began to build as we got closer to D-day.

When my daughter was born, I had mixed emotions. I had a happy feeling that I’d never experienced before in my lifetime. But deep inside, I still wondered if I had what it took to be a great dad.

At the beginning of my era of fatherhood, the transition was a little difficult because I’d been single and childless for all of my teen years and was now a new dad approaching the age of thirty. This new person in my life counted on me. Not only did she count on me, she was high maintenance—change the diapers, make the bottle, rock me to sleep, etc, etc, etc. 

I want all novice dads and the dads that have left the game for awhile and are now reentering to know, we’ve all been afraid of parenting at some time in our lives—especially when it is the first one. I’d like to tell all new and returning fathers today, with God on your side; you have what it takes to be a great dad.

When babies are born, they don’t know if daddy is a good or bad man. They just need their dad. Babies don’t know if you have experience or if you don’t have a clue. They just want you around.

When babies are born, they don’t know what you fear. You are their hero! You are the greatest man in their lifetime.

I had the privilege of watching my eldest daughter three days a week right after she was born. My work days were Thursday thru Sunday. So, Monday thru Wednesday, I was thrown into the father ring feet first. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I cried, because I’d look at my daughter and thought, “we can’t undo this. We can’t turn back the hands of time, you are here.” What could I do with this internal struggle? I remember as I bathed my daughter, clothed her and fed her daily, God would speak to me. He’d say, “Son, see how you care for your daughter? I care for you even more. You can do it because I’ve given you a father’s heart.

Fathers, if you are struggling with your children and/or fatherhood, ask God for a father’s heart. He’ll give it to you.

As time with my daughter moved forward, God replaced the fear of will I be a good dad with love.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not the best father in the world. I’m not perfect. I’ve made some mistakes in regards to the raising of my children, but I’m sure striving to be the best Daddy that I can be.

Today, we live in a world where three and four generations of children have not had a father in their lives. I salute all men far and near who put up with the baby’s mamma drama, ex-wives, lawyers and court systems. I applaud all men who in spite of their feelings about the mother of their child or children make sure the child support check is there on time. And I most  of all salute all fathers who decide to be the positive influence over their children’s lives as Jesus designed them to be.

Fathers have no time to be caught up in selfishness, anger, depression, maliciousness, and/or animosity. The next generation needs you on your post. If you suffer with any of these issues of life, pray about it and get help for yourself so you can help the next generation.

Our next generation needs inspiration, influence, discipline, and love. We need children that are contributors to society—not just consumers alone. For instance, oil prices are at record highs. We need new sources of renewable fuel. We need cures for cancer and AIDS. If George Washington Carver found over 300 uses for peanuts, with the technology of today, the possibilities are endless. I submit to you that the next generation will never find the new fuel source or three hundred uses for eggs in front of the television playing video games.

So on this Father’s Day remember—especially if your child is between the ages of 0 and 21. Remember that no matter how many television shows that are centered on a buffoon for a father, we are needed. We have a job to do—influence and inspire the next generation. Remember just as our Heavenly Father provides for us, you can provide for your family. Remember you are making a difference. Remember that even if you have not been a part of your child’s life, as long as there is life there is a chance. There is a chance to reestablish the relationship and bond. Pray about it and then make your move.

Fatherhood is like no other challenge in life. We get to pass on a part of us to the next generations. Think about it. Cash is always good to receive, but if you never teach your children the rules of cash, all you’ve worked for will be spent in a matter of days, weeks, months or years. Your teachings and influence will last for generations to come.

Many men run from the job of fatherhood only to have regrets years later. What a missed opportunity. Children only grow up once. Don’t miss it for the world.

I believe one of the most important training exercises a father can give his children is the ability to make good decisions. When I think of all the trouble in my life, it all generated from poor decisions. No man, woman or child alive is above the consequences of a bad decision. The ability to use good wisdom and sound judgment are the greatest qualities a father gives.

So when you awaken from your nap on the restaurant floor on Father’s Day, be encouraged and know that Dad’s are crucial to the family and society as well. Enjoy your day, but most of all savor the moments of fatherhood, because your children won’t be home forever.

Sometimes when I think of the day when each of my children will leave home, I have to swallow the golf ball in the back of my throat and I need a tissue to dab the tears before they roll down my cheeks. Although fatherhood is a lifetime event, it has its seasons. There’s the season of extreme caretaker. There’s the season of instruction. And the final season of fatherhood is friendship.

From the time each of my children has taken his or her first steps, they’ve been trying to be independent of me. Some time in the future, they will have earned the right to live their own lives. For me, that day will be a day of celebration and mourning. I will celebrate my children’s new found independence as I change the locks on all perimeter doors of my home. After all, the goal of child rearing is to make them independent. My wife laughs at me, because she knows that on the day my children leave, I won’t be much of a man that day. I’ll probably be sitting in the corner with my thumb in my mouth balling like someone took my toy car. I won’t care what anyone thinks of me on that day. I’ll admit it. Most likely, I will cry, because I enjoy being a father tremendously. I don’t drive the car I want. I don’t have expensive designer clothes. When I spend money, I have to always keep the big picture in mind—like the mortgage, utilities, food and clothing for my wife and children. I’ve got three of the best children a man could ask for. I’m blessed beyond all measures of life. My material sacrifices cannot ever be compared with the joy I receive from being called Daddy. I know that material things are nice. It’s nice to have a fine car, big house, and money to burn. If I never get the big house, fine car, and lumpy mattress full of cash, I can still say that I will die rich, because I’m loved by a special woman. And I’ve been afforded the opportunity to be a father. Not only do I love my children, but more importantly, my children love me.

I’d like to take this time to honor some great fathers of influence:

                                            
James R. Jordan, Sr. He inspired his son to become an athelete. (Michael Jordan)

Earl Woods "My dad was my best friend and greatest role model, and I will miss him deeply." (Tiger Woods)

Richard Williams (Venus and Serena Williams)

Irvin W Childress, Sr. “from the first time I saw you working on our car in the driveway, I’ve wanted to be like you. Many times, I took my toys and bikes apart because I saw you take the car apart and put it back together, and the car worked better after you fixed it.” (Irv Childress, author) And at this time Dad I’d like to say, “I’m sorry for tearing up all my toys.”

I’d like to repeat to all fathers on this Father’s Day, “be encouraged and seize the opportunities when they arize.” When you’re really busy and your child extends his or her hands for a hug, stop. Take time to savor the moment with a hug.When your little girl invites you to a tea party, make sure you attend. When your son steps out on the football field, make sure you’ve got on your bright orange suit, so he can see you as plain as day from the field, baby. When your oldest daughter desires to date, make sure she has her first date with dad. Show her what a real gentleman is like. For I’ve heard it said that no dying man looks back on his life and wishes that he’d spent more time at the office. He wishes that he’d spent more time with his family. Always remember to be a  father with little or no regrets. Stay in there until the job is done. And be a father of striving for excellence not perfection.

Happy Father’s Day

Irv Childress